NYT > Adultery

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Can a Cheater Change for Good?



If we only knew a direct and precise answer to the question of whether a cheater can change for good or not, cheated spouses will probably have a ready answer when it is time to make a decision. If we would rely on the old saying that "once a cheater, always a cheater", then the answer is clear. There will be no need to extensively analyze the situation since choices are limited to two: accept or reject a cheater.

Without a clear-cut answer, cheated spouses may have to do a lot of wondering about their decision. The lack of definiteness gives rise to the possibility of change and absolute conversion in a once erring spouse. On the other hand, the risk of being hurt again by a repeat episode of infidelity is very real.

The numerous possibilities as to the outcome of a discovered infidelity makes it difficult to make life-changing decisions such as divorce or reconciliation. What makes the decision making process very hard is when a cheated spouse believes that there is a chance that change is possible, no matter how small. An aggravated spouse who does not entertain any doubt that his/her spouse will cheat again will have an easier time to cut clean of the relationship as compared to one who is holding on to the slimmest chance of change.

Ultimately, the decision will be based on the value given to the relationship and the partner as well as the willingness of the faithful spouse to give a second, third, or fourth chance...It will always be a personal decision in the same manner that changing will always be a personal decision of cheaters. In finding ways to avoid further episodes of cheating, couples should focus on the root cause and resolve it. Doing so will allow for a greater chance of changing the cheater for good.

2 comments:

  1. My husband and i got Married last year and we have been living happily for a while. We used to be free with everything and never kept any secret from each other until recently everything changed when he got a new Job in NewYork 2 months ago.He has been avoiding my calls and told me he is working,i got suspicious when i saw a comment of a woman on his Facebook Picture and the way he replied her. I asked my husband about it and he told me that she is co-worker in his organization,We had a big argument and he has not been picking my calls,this went on for long until one day i decided to notify my friend about this and that was how she introduced me to Mr James(Worldcyberhackers@gmail.com) a Private Investigator  who helped her when she was having issues with her Husband. I never believed he could do it but until i gave him my husbands Mobile phone number. He proved to me by hacking into my husbands phone. where i found so many evidence and  proof in his Text messages, Emails and pictures that my husband has an affairs with another woman.i have sent all the evidence to our lawyer.I just want to thank Mr James for helping me because i have all the evidence and proof to my lawyer,I Feel so sad about infidelity.

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  2. My husband and i got Married last year and we have been living happily for a while. We used to be free with everything and never kept any secret from each other until recently everything changed when he got a new Job in NewYork 2 months ago. He has been avoiding my calls and told me he is working,i got suspicious when i saw a comment of a woman on his Facebook Picture and the way he replied her. I asked my husband about it and he told me that she is co-worker in his organization,We had a big argument and he has not been picking my calls,this went on for long until one day i decided to notify my friend about this and that was how she introduced me to Mr James(Worldcyberhackers@gmail.com) a Private Investigator  who helped her when she was having issues with her Husband. I never believed he could do it but until i gave him my husbands Mobile phone number. He proved to me by hacking into my husbands phone. where i found so many evidence and  proof in his Text messages, Emails and pictures that my husband has an affairs with another woman.i have sent all the evidence to our lawyer. I just want to thank Mr James for helping me because i have all the evidence and proof for my lawyer,I Feel so sad about infidelity.


    ReplyDelete