NYT > Adultery

Monday, September 12, 2011

The Complexities of Infidelity



Infidelity is never strictly the same for affected couples. What happened to your friends will not necessarily happen to you. How other affected couples reacted to their ordeal will not necessarily be your reaction. The absence of definitiveness in all aspects of infidelity makes it too complex to be addressed by a single uniform action.

What makes infidelity so complex? One is the difference in personalities involved. People do not have the same desires, needs, wants, views, and values. What is good for one may be be bad for another. People also have different capacities for forgiveness. Without forgiveness, marriage is doomed from the onset of infidelity.

Another is the difference in circumstances. Acceptability of spousal infidelity can be influenced by traditions, laws, and beliefs. It is almost impossible to fight what one has been accustomed to all his/her life. Problem arises when two people from entirely different upbringing in the subject of marriage decide to form a life together with each asserting their very difference. A prospective bride cannot expect to change her man overnight by simply getting married when he sincerely believes that there is nothing wrong with polygamy. After marriage, what the woman sees as infidelity or adultery may just be a normal way of life for the man.

Still another is the ability of cheaters to reform and make good on the promise to cease infidelity. Many start and end as one-timer cheaters while others make a habit out of it. Some will be unable to control themselves because of a psychological or physical condition such as sex addiction.


Attacking infidelity therefore for the purpose of stopping it requires analysis of individual cheating cases. Generalizing simply will not do. If resolving infidelity is so simple, we may not be looking at alarming infidelity statistics as we are doing now.

1 comment:

  1. My husband and i got Married last year and we have been living happily for a while. We used to be free with everything and never kept any secret from each other until recently everything changed when he got a new Job in NewYork 2 months ago.He has been avoiding my calls and told me he is working,i got suspicious when i saw a comment of a woman on his Facebook Picture and the way he replied her. I asked my husband about it and he told me that she is co-worker in his organization,We had a big argument and he has not been picking my calls,this went on for long until one day i decided to notify my friend about this and that was how she introduced me to Mr James(Worldcyberhackers@gmail.com) a Private Investigator  who helped her when she was having issues with her Husband. I never believed he could do it but until i gave him my husbands Mobile phone number. He proved to me by hacking into my husbands phone. where i found so many evidence and  proof in his Text messages, Emails and pictures that my husband has an affairs with another woman.i have sent all the evidence to our lawyer.I just want to thank Mr James for helping me because i have all the evidence and proof to my lawyer,I Feel so sad about infidelity.

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