NYT > Adultery

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Too Young



Confronted with divorce statistics showing an alarming divorce rate for the age group of 14 to 17 years, we cannot help but wonder, why not? These are people who may not even have fully formed themselves individually, much less as a couple. By marrying too early, they enter the committed relationship blindsided by unrealistic expectations of living happily ever after.

Is it any surprise therefore to see couples within this age group struggle through their marriage? If mature couples are not safe from the ills that wreck a relationship, it is very easy to imagine how harder it is for the much younger ones. This is not to say that mature people are better than young people, but in the context of a serious relationship such as marriage, a healthy dose of maturity wouldn't hurt anyone.

Most young couples see marriage through a rose-colored glass where nothing can go wrong. Romantic dreams of life-long companionship, love, acceptance, and security easily overshadow the realities of marriage problems such as abuse, unexpected pregnancy, and extra-marital affairs. Young cheating spouses sometimes have the mistaken notion that they have the "right" to cheat since they have been "trapped" too early in marriage. They realized too late that they have given up the freedom to form romantic relationships with another by committing oneself in marriage.

The desire to make up for lost romantic opportunities have no place in marriage. This is the reason why young couples are greatly cautioned against committing to exclusivity too early in their lives. Marriage cannot accommodate infidelity to satisfy a personal want. Most often than not, people who enter marriage with a lack of realistic understanding of their sexual responsibility to their partners end up with the divorce option. There are a good number of young couples who managed to survive the challenges of early marriage but it is a safe bet to say they all did with a lot of hard work and determination.

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