In extramarital affairs gone sour, one scenario that is most likely to arise is the blackmailing of the cheater by his/her lover. Secret lovers tend to stick together in covering up an illicit relationship and when a change of heart occurs, there is definitely an underlying reason. A lover or mistress will not expose or threaten to expose the affair partner unless there is an expected benefit that will result if he/she is able to strike fear in the heart of the cheater.
The most common reason for blackmailing a cheater is the lover's perception of decreasing affection. The blackmailer hopes to prevent the cheater from ending the affair especially if he/she has reason to believe that the cheater is seriously thinking of cutting off ties. The threat of exposure usually works at a time when the cheater realizes the importance of his/her marriage. This is quite ironic since the cheater is forced to prolong the affair so as not to destroy the chances of reviving a troubled marriage.
Another common cause is money. The motive for blackmailing a cheater in exchange for gaining monetary considerations may exist from the very start or towards the end of the relationship. Premeditated blackmailing has been planned even before the relationship started. Blackmailing lovers typically target prospective cheaters who are rich, famous, or at least have something particularly useful such as influence.
Blackmailing that happens towards the end of the relationship can be a direct offshoot of loss of affection. It can be used as a form of revenge or gaining consolation in getting a financial benefit in the face of the ended affair. Financial gain they say, has a way of softening the pain brought about by a separation that is inevitable anyway.
Sometimes, the legal spouse of the the lover does the blackmailing and ends up victorious in gaining back his/her spouse and exacting revenge on the affair partner. This is one of the most equalizing twists of infidelity. In instances where the cheater is being blackmailed by the cheated, it becomes very clear that two can play this cruel game.
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