NYT > Adultery

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Is It Cheating If ...?



It can be very hard to believe that one person wouldn't know that he/she is guilty of marital cheating. We will notice in daily columns tackling personal relationships, numerous questions seeking the analysis of whether or not a certain act or acts they did constitute being untrue to their partner. I have a feeling that they know the answer to their own questions and they are merely asking either to reinforce their belief or hopefully find a justification or an ally.

The question: Is it cheating if ...?

Let us attempt to find the answer to that question.

Is it cheating if I look at attractive men? Is it cheating if I flirt mildly with women at my office? Is it cheating if I try to look more attractive especially in front of my boss? Well, everyone would have to agree that these acts hardly constitute infidelity but we all know that they can be precursors to actual cheating.

Is it cheating if I try to get to know an attractive man better? Is it cheating if I engage in sexual innuendos with my co-workers? Is it cheating if I make suggestive moves while seeking familiarity with my superiors? These are NOT YET acts of infidelity but these people are definitely walking on dangerous grounds.

Is a one-night stand with absolutely no emotions involved considered cheating? Is confiding marital and intimate details to a special friend of the opposite sex in the office cheating? Is having a sexual relationship with my boss cheating even if I am only doing it for career gain which will eventually benefit my husband and my children? These are clear acts of infidelity because they all violate the trust that should exist in any committed relationship such as marriage.

What is the underlying motive of engaging someone in an emotional attachment, of trying to be more attractive to a particular person who is not the spouse, and of trying to separate the physical and emotional aspects of the sexual act? We define cheating by the motives and the acts that follow. If they undermine the value of the relationship in any way, you can be sure that what you are doing is cheating.

2 comments:

  1. My Husband was so smooth at hiding his infidelity so I had no proof for months, I was referred to some hacker  and decided to give him a try.. the result was incredible because all my cheating husband's text messages, whatsapp, facebook and even phone conversations was linked directly to my cellphone. (worldcyberhackers@gmail.com ) Mr James helped me put a round-the-clock monitoring on him and I got concrete evidence and gave it to my lawyer..if your husband is an expert at hiding his cheating adventures contact Mr James via Email


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  2. My husband and i got Married last year and we have been living happily for a while. We used to be free with everything and never kept any secret from each other until recently everything changed when he got a new Job in NewYork 2 months ago. He has been avoiding my calls and told me he is working,i got suspicious when i saw a comment of a woman on his Facebook Picture and the way he replied her. I asked my husband about it and he told me that she is co-worker in his organization,We had a big argument and he has not been picking my calls,this went on for long until one day i decided to notify my friend about this and that was how she introduced me to Mr James(Worldcyberhackers@gmail.com) a Private Investigator  who helped her when she was having issues with her Husband. I never believed he could do it but until i gave him my husbands Mobile phone number. He proved to me by hacking into my husbands phone. where i found so many evidence and  proof in his Text messages, Emails and pictures that my husband has an affairs with another woman.i have sent all the evidence to our lawyer. I just want to thank Mr James for helping me because i have all the evidence and proof for my lawyer,I Feel so sad about infidelity.


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