Obsessing About the Other Woman

It is natural for a wife to want to know the competition. Knowing the other woman is said to equip the wife with the weapons needed to win back the affection of the cheating husband. This is true to a certain degree because knowing what made the mistress attractive in the eyes of the man of their common affection could hold the key in discovering the reason behind the infidelity which could hopefully lead to the solution for the marital problem.

Wanting to know more about the other woman could easily lead to obsession especially if the affair has managed to totally alienate the affections of the husband for the legal wife. For a wife who feels that she is about to lose or has lost her husband to another woman, there is a compelling need to identify the woman who dares or has dared to steal her husband. Many cheated wives will not meekly wait for their husbands' "return" but would fight all the way for the man of their lives.

What does she look like? Where does she live? Is she married? Does she have children? Is she working and if she is, where? There are so many questions to be answered, some of which can only be answered through private investigation. Most of the time, the cheated wife seeks these information without even knowing what to do with them. Some even go the extremes of stalking the other woman, repeatedly confronting her or threatening her for carrying on an affair with her husband.

While these may be recognized as spontaneous actions of a wife in pain, continued obsession on the other woman is not healthy for the cheated wife. In fact, instead of convincing the husband to return to her, the semblance of the wife's desperation drives him further away straight into the arms of the other woman. Also, obsession is a very self-destructive reaction to infidelity as the aggrieved spouse allows the mistress of his cheating husband to have power over her when there should be none.

When it is evident that the husband is a lost cause, the cheated wife must learn to let go. Unless she does, her life will always revolve around the infidelity and desertion. There is life after a cheating spouse and the faithful wife should not allow her life to stop while others continue to live theirs.