Is Swinging Your Style?

Some couples who are into a monogamous marriage are putting their relationship to test by adopting a swingers' lifestyle. Swinging is essentially a non-monogamous behavior where partners agree as a couple to engage in sexual activities with other couples as a form of recreation or socialization. Most participating couples are introduced through swingers' clubs or websites that promote the swinging lifestyle.

Many couples have been encouraged to go into swinging in an attempt to add spice to their otherwise routine, if not boring sex life. Whether or not they will succeed in reviving their marriage or totally destroying it depends on the acceptability of the option to both parties. Forced participation dooms the option from the very start and will not serve any purpose but to widen the gap which is already existing between spouses.

Others have an idea that swinging can help prevent cheating in marriage. This thinking is based on the logic that spouses have no need to look for extra-marital relationships since both are giving each other approval to have sexual relations with others as long as they are done with the knowledge of the other. Cheating occurs in this set-up when a spouse decides to carry on with the sexual relations with a specific swinging partner without the consent of the legal spouse thereby creating an exclusive emotional attachment.

While most practicing swingers swear by the advantage of swinging in their lives, many have given up the practice because of recurring problems of jealousy and low self-esteem. There are also risks specific to non-monogamous sexual relationships such as getting sexually-transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies. Swingers clubs however, are quick to defend swinging as a safer option to get sexual activity outside marriage since most of them require STD testing and use of protection or contraception.

Who Does More Cheating - Men or Women?

Men have traditionally lorded it over when it comes to infidelity statistics. This fact has been largely attributed to the opportunities for cheating presented to them in the workplace as compared to women who mostly stayed at home to take care of the children and manage the household. With the equal career opportunities being currently given to both genders, women appear to be making a statement as well with regards to their participation in acts of infidelity.

While traditional statistical data would show an 80-20 ratio in favor of the men, more recent data tend to show that women's call for equality seem to be extending even to this aspect of living. A 55-45 ratio still in favor of the men shows how much times have changed given the very small difference. This just goes to show that anyone who believes he/she has reason to cheat and given the "right" opportunity to do so will cheat.

The marked difference in the way the respective genders carry out their infidelity is worth looking into. Men are more inclined towards serial cheating which is having successive or simultaneous affairs while married. Women on the other hand, are especially notorious with long-term affairs because of the usual emotional ties that develop.

So much has been said about why men cheat or why women cheat when we should be thinking about why do human beings cheat. We can come up with a long list of reasons, some valid and some are not but we would always end up looking into the main culprit which is unfulfilled need. The wedding is not the end of the work required in the marriage. In fact, it only signals the beginning of what would be a lifetime work to maintain and honor a commitment.

Needs can vary. They can be physical, emotional, intellectual, psychological or a combination of these. Every marriage is bound to reach a point where spousal needs are not being met. These needs have to be recognized and addressed between spouses and within the relationship. The solution is never found outside. Infidelity is palliative and will not provide the permanent solution to the problem.