It would be ideal if a couple who has just gone through the horror and pain of infidelity could come out and truthfully say that they have rid themselves of the very last remnants of the dreadful episode in their marriage. It is to their credit if they are able to survive infidelity together. The real test of survival however, lies in the aftermath which may be plagued by recurring feelings of doubt on the part of the cheated spouse and guilt on the side of the cheating spouse. Together, they must face the ghost of infidelity which often lingers to disturb every once in a while the semblance of peace existing in the marriage.
Every single act of the cheating spouse is suspect while every single question from the cheated spouse is a reproach. Unless all remaining issues of past infidelity is resolved, cracks in the marriage will resurface and the couple may soon find themselves facing another challenge in their marriage. When a problem is not being discussed, it doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. The more its existence is denied, the clearer it becomes that there is indeed a problem.
Redundant unresolved issues within the marriage usually have more power to break down a marriage than a single sensational problem that is met squarely on its face by a troubled couple. The continued existence of the cause of the initial infidelity can always be the same reason for rekindling interrupted affairs or finding another paramour. The ghost of infidelity will continue to haunt a marriage until the perceived "lack" remains.
If you think you've won because your cheating spouse chose you over his other woman, don't rejoice just yet. You would be surprised to discover how a memory of an affair can be a formidable opponent to your reconciliation efforts. Remove the ghost in your relationship permanently by being each other's refuge and comfort.
