If given a choice, I wouldn't want to know of my spouse's past infidelity specifically if it has long been over. The belated confession does not serve any purpose but to clear my cheating spouse's conscience and hurt me. Personally, I would rather that he carry the burden alone so that he gets punished without my involvement. In short, I'd rather that he lie to me forever about that particular infidelity and make sure that I never get to know of it - ever.
I say this mainly because of the need for self-preservation. I wouldn't want to be imagining the intimacy that occurred between my husband and another woman. It would just be too devastating and I'm afraid that I would have to leave him.
Cheating that is still happening is an entirely different ballgame. I would like to know the truth because I deserve to have the chance to make my own decisions based on such infidelity. This is particularly important if the affair has been going on for some time because it shows that a connection has been established and that is unfair to me. I will find it hard to forgive a single unfaithful act and I seriously doubt my capability to even think of forgiving several unfaithful acts. I have a feeling that I will leave him just the same for telling me.
This is why I say to him, lie to me if you can, as long as you can, because I cannot accept such betrayal. Better yet, I'd rather tell him, never lie to me and never be unfaithful to me and I'd never leave. Such is my position and that is non-negotiable.
