It can be very hard to believe that one person wouldn't know that he/she is guilty of marital cheating. We will notice in daily columns tackling personal relationships, numerous questions seeking the analysis of whether or not a certain act or acts they did constitute being untrue to their partner. I have a feeling that they know the answer to their own questions and they are merely asking either to reinforce their belief or hopefully find a justification or an ally.
The question: Is it cheating if ...?
Let us attempt to find the answer to that question.
Is it cheating if I look at attractive men? Is it cheating if I flirt mildly with women at my office? Is it cheating if I try to look more attractive especially in front of my boss? Well, everyone would have to agree that these acts hardly constitute infidelity but we all know that they can be precursors to actual cheating.
Is it cheating if I try to get to know an attractive man better? Is it cheating if I engage in sexual innuendos with my co-workers? Is it cheating if I make suggestive moves while seeking familiarity with my superiors? These are NOT YET acts of infidelity but these people are definitely walking on dangerous grounds.
Is a one-night stand with absolutely no emotions involved considered cheating? Is confiding marital and intimate details to a special friend of the opposite sex in the office cheating? Is having a sexual relationship with my boss cheating even if I am only doing it for career gain which will eventually benefit my husband and my children? These are clear acts of infidelity because they all violate the trust that should exist in any committed relationship such as marriage.
What is the underlying motive of engaging someone in an emotional attachment, of trying to be more attractive to a particular person who is not the spouse, and of trying to separate the physical and emotional aspects of the sexual act? We define cheating by the motives and the acts that follow. If they undermine the value of the relationship in any way, you can be sure that what you are doing is cheating.
