The vast majority of us struggle with a flat libido and a floundering sex life. Indeed, it's almost the de facto complaint you know you can expect to hear from your peer group a few years into your working lives. But instead of seeking out a "cure" in the form of a little pill, perhaps it'll benefit us in the long term to look at our lifestyles and consider whether that has a role to play in our lowered sex drives.
Here are a number of "modern life" issues that might just be the culprits that are killing our passion.
A large meal
While we're all for the romantic wine and dine evening, having a lot of food and wine unfortunately doesn't translate into monkey sex. That's because we're so stuffed with food, that our body needs all its energy to ensure your digestive system processes it properly. The Daily Mail quotes dietician Helen Bond explaining: "Rich, carbohydrate-heavy meals cause a huge energy slump about two hours later, what’s known as postprandial dip." So make sure you keep dinner light and keep dessert for later… in the bedroom.
Multitasking
In today's technological age, it's become easier to do two things at once, but when it's time to focus on our sensuality, multitasking should be thrown out the window. Switch off your phone, your television, your computer, kick the kids and pets out of the room and focus on the single task at hand: pleasure. Oh and if you absolutely must multitask, make sure it's a kinky sex move that'll send you and your partner into spasms of pleasure.
Your weight
Being too thin or being overweight both have negative effects on your sexual desire. Many women try to lose weight to be more attractive, but in actual fact, they could be sending their bodies the wrong message. If your body thinks it's being starved, it goes into survival mode and that will mean little or no interest in sex.
In a recent article by the Daily Mail, women of all sizes said that feeling fat was one thing that really put them off sex but really being overweight or "apple-shaped" can also put pressure on your sexual desire as the protein that's produced in your liver and which is vital in assisting sex hormones do their job is reduced.
Blood pressure pills
They may be essential to a healthy heart, but because blood pressure pills reduce your heart rate and blood flow, there will be a change to how you experience sex too. There is hope though as a new type of blood pressure pill that improved patients' erectile dysfunction by up to 69 percent.
White bread
Any refined foods are not good for you and eating too much of them can lead to frequent energy slumps which will mean a growing disinterest in energy-focused pastimes such as a romp in the sack. It's a vicious cycle, so try to avoid those foods that have been refined and opt for whole grain and less sugar.
Trying for a baby
You'd think that most men would be happy to get the frantic calls from their partner in those days during her ovulation period but many feel pressured and well, let's just say that doesn't exactly help when it comes to producing the correct state of one's anatomy. Consciously try to slow things down a little, focus on the moment at hand, and most importantly, on each other and that should be half the battle won.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Nurse Jackie - Cheating & Other Lessons
Last night Season Three began over at All Saints Hospital. Jackie Peyton was right where I last saw her; in the bathroom trying to figure out how the hell she was going to lie her way out of the situation she had gotten herself into.
Nurse Jackie is a pill-popping-vicodin-snorting-RN. I love her and I do not know why. She's cheating on her husband, cheating on her boyfriend, stealing education money provided by her best friend to support her drug habit, rigging a pill dispenser to provide her poison while pointing her finger at a recovering addict/fellow nurse.
On the surface, Jackie is an addict still searching for rock bottom. Underneath, Jackie is a good person--she's a nurse for crying out loud--and a damn good one at that. She's a wife, girlfriend, co-worker, friend, mother--the drug addiction is only one layer. At least that is what I tell myself.
Showtime began this series a couple of years ago to focus on the people who really run the hospital--the nurses. Jackie is a character I love. She is an angel in disguise--so what if she has some faults-- I try not to get hung up on the dirty details.
In order to fully appreciate Nurse Jackie, I have to remember some of the RNs who paved the way for Edie Falco's character to fully shine. I have to hand it to Falco, I never thought she could top her acting abilites after playing Carmela Soprano for all those years...with Jackie Peyton--she has hit the jackpot.
Thanks to Showtime, nurses are finally given their due--if you can get past the addiction--you will see Jackie as the heroine she truly is.
Are any of these twenty among your favorites? Who did I forget?
Read more: http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/life-as-i-see-it/2011/03/20-nurses-who-paved-the-way-for-nurse-jackie.html#ixzz1I5s4QjUd
Nurse Jackie is a pill-popping-vicodin-snorting-RN. I love her and I do not know why. She's cheating on her husband, cheating on her boyfriend, stealing education money provided by her best friend to support her drug habit, rigging a pill dispenser to provide her poison while pointing her finger at a recovering addict/fellow nurse.
On the surface, Jackie is an addict still searching for rock bottom. Underneath, Jackie is a good person--she's a nurse for crying out loud--and a damn good one at that. She's a wife, girlfriend, co-worker, friend, mother--the drug addiction is only one layer. At least that is what I tell myself.
Showtime began this series a couple of years ago to focus on the people who really run the hospital--the nurses. Jackie is a character I love. She is an angel in disguise--so what if she has some faults-- I try not to get hung up on the dirty details.
In order to fully appreciate Nurse Jackie, I have to remember some of the RNs who paved the way for Edie Falco's character to fully shine. I have to hand it to Falco, I never thought she could top her acting abilites after playing Carmela Soprano for all those years...with Jackie Peyton--she has hit the jackpot.
Thanks to Showtime, nurses are finally given their due--if you can get past the addiction--you will see Jackie as the heroine she truly is.
Are any of these twenty among your favorites? Who did I forget?
Read more: http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/life-as-i-see-it/2011/03/20-nurses-who-paved-the-way-for-nurse-jackie.html#ixzz1I5s4QjUd
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Top 10 Questions About Cheating
Adultery is back in fashion again − or so it seems. Whether it’s a political wife standing stoically by her husband or a gorgeous celebrity humiliated by a dogging spouse, we often ask ourselves: What would I do? Kick him to the curb? Forgive and move on? These answers aren’t easy. Read on for the top 10 cheating questions. Plus, will your guy cheat? Rate the risk with our quiz…
It’s easy to feel sympathy for the victims of a straying spouse (let’s call them the cheatees). And even easier to vilify the cheaters.
“We think of people who betray us as cads, bad people, immature,” says Steven Solomon, Ph.D., author of Intimacy After Infidelity: How to Rebuild & Affair-Proof Your Marriage (New Harbinger, 2006) “But most are normal folks who get lost in not taking care of themselves and their marriage.”
That’s not much comfort to the cheatees, who probably have a lot of anger, hurt and questions. Here are some answers to the most common cheating questions:
1. Should I forgive him and stay in the marriage?
It depends on his next step, Solomon says. Does he seem to sincerely want forgiveness? And how would you know?
First check: Is the infidelity over? If so, is your husband willing to do whatever it takes to mend the breach?
"A person has to be willing, at least for a time, to be transparent," Solomon says. "You have to be able to see emails, have passwords, see calls, reach him at any time, vent without him getting impatient or defensive."
Figure out what you'll need in order to stay and use that list as your yardstick: Is he sticking to your list or making vague promises to improve? Don’t decide based on his words, but on his actions over time.
After a while of having your needs met, you may no longer need to call as often, to check every call, to see his emails.
"If you see that something has changed in him and his attitude,” Solomon says, “you can allow yourself to forgive, move on, and remain in the marriage.”
2. How do I let it go?
Forgiveness is important even if you leave the marriage. To be able to trust in your next relationship, you'll need to move out of the angry, bitter place you’re in.
"Forgiveness does not mean forgive and forget," says M. Gary Neuman, author of The Truth about Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It (Wiley, 2008). "Of course, you can't just throw your whole heart back into the relationship.”
There has to be a plan for going forward, he says. Ask yourselves: What will you change in the marriage to re-establish an emotional connection?
For his book, Neuman surveyed 200 men in the U.S.: 100 cheaters and 100 who hadn’t. His findings? “The cheating group had a lot more distress and dissatisfaction in the home,” he says.
If he's doing his part by letting you in on his day-to-day communications, then you have to do your part: Plan a new way to listen to and address his issues. That way, you’re part of a team, with a project you’re both working on.
3. I forgave him once, but he’s cheated again. Now what?
You’ve busted him a second time and he says he’s sorry… but is he? The aftermath is the key to figuring out when – or if – you should leave.
"If you hear and see the same things as after the first infidelity, you need to get out of the relationship,” Solomon says. “But if something fundamental has changed and he wants to make amends, there's hope."
The trouble is, after a first affair, many couples sweep problems under the rug. The cheater promises to change, the cheatee feels steamrolled into agreeing. But the first or second infidelity has to be followed by genuine remorse and a change. And if it happens a third time, just like in baseball – he’s out.
4. Did I do something to make him cheat?
"The short answer is no," Neuman says.
Solomon agrees: "You didn't do something that excuses cheating."
Even if you’re the worse spouse on Earth, your partner can find better ways to deal with his unhappiness. “You can't make someone cheat any more than you can make someone drink or abuse you," he says.
But that's not the whole story. Solomon says people usually cheat because of fear, loneliness or anger. “The betraying partner's failure to deal with these feelings is what causes him to be unfaithful," he says. Why else does he stray? Check out 6 Reasons Why Men Cheat to find out.
And many relationships that fall into infidelity aren’t that healthy to begin with. “That’s what lays the groundwork for infidelity,” Solomon says.
5. Is counseling necessary? Or can we deal with it on our own?
Counseling is a must, Neuman says. In some cases, cheating is a signal he’s having an emotional breakdown, so it may be a good time to get him into therapy.
Even if your relationship is irretrievably broken, counseling can help you both move on, co-parent if needed and have healthier future relationships.
Remember: A therapist's job is not to punish the cheater or blindly back up either spouse. You have to be open to receiving constructive criticism.
"At the very least, get a book," Neuman says. "But too often, people cheat, cry about it, and move on with no plan. Counseling forces you to admit there's trouble, so you are both committed to making some sort of change."
6. How can I tell if this was a cry for help… or an escape?
An “exit affair” that starts because a partner wants out of a marriage is rarely a conscious choice. As you go through counseling, you have to gauge if your partner is really trying to get back the intimacy you lost. (For emotional affairs, read Chaste or Cheating?)
Be prepared to let him go “if he’s just going through the motions, if he won’t answer questions forthrightly, if he wants you to get over it already,” Solomon says. “It takes a ton of courage to turn your life upside down, but it’s the right thing to do if you no longer trust or love someone.”
7. Do I tell the kids? If so, how?
Fire any therapist who says it's okay to tell the kids. It is never okay to inform children, tweens, or even teens of a parent's sexual infidelity. The momentary satisfaction you might feel at being the "good" parent will be stamped out by emotional problems down the line.
"It causes a much greater struggle for the child if he or she is angry at one parent over the other," Neuman says. With one parent, the child’s anger can remain longer and cause much more damage.
"Ideally, you actually want the child to be angry at both parents because a child can't stay angry at both for long,” he says. “They have to work it out."
With one parent, the child’s anger can remain longer and cause much more damage.
But sometimes telling is unavoidable, if say, the cheating spouse introduces a child to the other woman or man or the cheatee blurts it out.
Then, Neuman says, "all the betraying parent can do is explain, with honesty and integrity and genuine sorrow, that [he or she] made a terrible mistake and that they’re working to correct what led to that mistake." To the child, it’s a reassuring message that sometimes good people make mistakes and do bad things.
Children may worry their bond with their parents will be broken. The betrayed spouse should explain that their parent-child relationship is separate from the one between the adults. If you decide to stay together, show them that you’re both trying to work it out.
8. How about our friends? Should we tell them?
Anytime you share this, ask yourself: Why are you telling this person?
“Are you telling because you want to hurt, humiliate, embarrass your partner? Or is it to get support?” Solomon asks.
If your motivation is revenge, zip your lips. You may get back together, and then you’ll have some explaining to do.
If you divorce, your ex will likely be at your kids’ birthday parties and school events, and your kids will be aware of gossip or hostility.
In extreme cases, a scorched-earth approach could push him to move away, making custody exchanges harder than they need to be.
Of course, you need support! So pick tight-lipped friends who understand the stakes. Get a therapist, talk to clergy, blab to your lawyer if you must (though, at $400 an hour, that’ll get expensive).
To everyone else, “we grew apart” will suffice. You’ll feel better later and know you did the right thing.
9. How do I know if he’s had safe sex?
You don’t. No matter what he says, you can’t be sure. And some diseases, such as venereal warts and herpes, can find their way around a condom. So don’t sleep with him – or at the very least, use protection – until he’s been tested.
“How demeaning and foolish would it be to put yourself in an unhealthy place?” Neuman asks. “If he did not have safe sex… he was making tremendous mistakes that could have killed you both.”
That just shows how lost he was and how much counseling is needed, he says. And if he refuses a test, then your answer to Question 1 is a big, fat “no.”
10. What are my rights if my husband is cheating?
- You have the right to be angry. You don’t have the right to turn that anger into a lifetime of bitterness.
- You have the right to divorce. You don’t have the right to move the kids without legal action.
- You have the right to demand counseling. You also have the right to leave if he refuses.
- You have the right to ask basic questions. You also have the right to ask detailed questions about sexual specifics, positions, sounds or techniques, but asking them may start a rabbit hole of obsession.
- You have the right to direct, honest answers, but be careful not to ask a question you don’t want to hear the answer to.
- You have the right to know that you were right about this all along, especially if he made you feel paranoid for being suspicious.
It’s easy to feel sympathy for the victims of a straying spouse (let’s call them the cheatees). And even easier to vilify the cheaters.
“We think of people who betray us as cads, bad people, immature,” says Steven Solomon, Ph.D., author of Intimacy After Infidelity: How to Rebuild & Affair-Proof Your Marriage (New Harbinger, 2006) “But most are normal folks who get lost in not taking care of themselves and their marriage.”
That’s not much comfort to the cheatees, who probably have a lot of anger, hurt and questions. Here are some answers to the most common cheating questions:
1. Should I forgive him and stay in the marriage?
It depends on his next step, Solomon says. Does he seem to sincerely want forgiveness? And how would you know?
First check: Is the infidelity over? If so, is your husband willing to do whatever it takes to mend the breach?
"A person has to be willing, at least for a time, to be transparent," Solomon says. "You have to be able to see emails, have passwords, see calls, reach him at any time, vent without him getting impatient or defensive."
Figure out what you'll need in order to stay and use that list as your yardstick: Is he sticking to your list or making vague promises to improve? Don’t decide based on his words, but on his actions over time.
After a while of having your needs met, you may no longer need to call as often, to check every call, to see his emails.
"If you see that something has changed in him and his attitude,” Solomon says, “you can allow yourself to forgive, move on, and remain in the marriage.”
2. How do I let it go?
Forgiveness is important even if you leave the marriage. To be able to trust in your next relationship, you'll need to move out of the angry, bitter place you’re in.
"Forgiveness does not mean forgive and forget," says M. Gary Neuman, author of The Truth about Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It (Wiley, 2008). "Of course, you can't just throw your whole heart back into the relationship.”
There has to be a plan for going forward, he says. Ask yourselves: What will you change in the marriage to re-establish an emotional connection?
For his book, Neuman surveyed 200 men in the U.S.: 100 cheaters and 100 who hadn’t. His findings? “The cheating group had a lot more distress and dissatisfaction in the home,” he says.
If he's doing his part by letting you in on his day-to-day communications, then you have to do your part: Plan a new way to listen to and address his issues. That way, you’re part of a team, with a project you’re both working on.
3. I forgave him once, but he’s cheated again. Now what?
You’ve busted him a second time and he says he’s sorry… but is he? The aftermath is the key to figuring out when – or if – you should leave.
"If you hear and see the same things as after the first infidelity, you need to get out of the relationship,” Solomon says. “But if something fundamental has changed and he wants to make amends, there's hope."
The trouble is, after a first affair, many couples sweep problems under the rug. The cheater promises to change, the cheatee feels steamrolled into agreeing. But the first or second infidelity has to be followed by genuine remorse and a change. And if it happens a third time, just like in baseball – he’s out.
4. Did I do something to make him cheat?
"The short answer is no," Neuman says.
Solomon agrees: "You didn't do something that excuses cheating."
Even if you’re the worse spouse on Earth, your partner can find better ways to deal with his unhappiness. “You can't make someone cheat any more than you can make someone drink or abuse you," he says.
But that's not the whole story. Solomon says people usually cheat because of fear, loneliness or anger. “The betraying partner's failure to deal with these feelings is what causes him to be unfaithful," he says. Why else does he stray? Check out 6 Reasons Why Men Cheat to find out.
And many relationships that fall into infidelity aren’t that healthy to begin with. “That’s what lays the groundwork for infidelity,” Solomon says.
5. Is counseling necessary? Or can we deal with it on our own?
Counseling is a must, Neuman says. In some cases, cheating is a signal he’s having an emotional breakdown, so it may be a good time to get him into therapy.
Even if your relationship is irretrievably broken, counseling can help you both move on, co-parent if needed and have healthier future relationships.
Remember: A therapist's job is not to punish the cheater or blindly back up either spouse. You have to be open to receiving constructive criticism.
"At the very least, get a book," Neuman says. "But too often, people cheat, cry about it, and move on with no plan. Counseling forces you to admit there's trouble, so you are both committed to making some sort of change."
6. How can I tell if this was a cry for help… or an escape?
An “exit affair” that starts because a partner wants out of a marriage is rarely a conscious choice. As you go through counseling, you have to gauge if your partner is really trying to get back the intimacy you lost. (For emotional affairs, read Chaste or Cheating?)
Be prepared to let him go “if he’s just going through the motions, if he won’t answer questions forthrightly, if he wants you to get over it already,” Solomon says. “It takes a ton of courage to turn your life upside down, but it’s the right thing to do if you no longer trust or love someone.”
7. Do I tell the kids? If so, how?
Fire any therapist who says it's okay to tell the kids. It is never okay to inform children, tweens, or even teens of a parent's sexual infidelity. The momentary satisfaction you might feel at being the "good" parent will be stamped out by emotional problems down the line.
"It causes a much greater struggle for the child if he or she is angry at one parent over the other," Neuman says. With one parent, the child’s anger can remain longer and cause much more damage.
"Ideally, you actually want the child to be angry at both parents because a child can't stay angry at both for long,” he says. “They have to work it out."
With one parent, the child’s anger can remain longer and cause much more damage.
But sometimes telling is unavoidable, if say, the cheating spouse introduces a child to the other woman or man or the cheatee blurts it out.
Then, Neuman says, "all the betraying parent can do is explain, with honesty and integrity and genuine sorrow, that [he or she] made a terrible mistake and that they’re working to correct what led to that mistake." To the child, it’s a reassuring message that sometimes good people make mistakes and do bad things.
Children may worry their bond with their parents will be broken. The betrayed spouse should explain that their parent-child relationship is separate from the one between the adults. If you decide to stay together, show them that you’re both trying to work it out.
8. How about our friends? Should we tell them?
Anytime you share this, ask yourself: Why are you telling this person?
“Are you telling because you want to hurt, humiliate, embarrass your partner? Or is it to get support?” Solomon asks.
If your motivation is revenge, zip your lips. You may get back together, and then you’ll have some explaining to do.
If you divorce, your ex will likely be at your kids’ birthday parties and school events, and your kids will be aware of gossip or hostility.
In extreme cases, a scorched-earth approach could push him to move away, making custody exchanges harder than they need to be.
Of course, you need support! So pick tight-lipped friends who understand the stakes. Get a therapist, talk to clergy, blab to your lawyer if you must (though, at $400 an hour, that’ll get expensive).
To everyone else, “we grew apart” will suffice. You’ll feel better later and know you did the right thing.
9. How do I know if he’s had safe sex?
You don’t. No matter what he says, you can’t be sure. And some diseases, such as venereal warts and herpes, can find their way around a condom. So don’t sleep with him – or at the very least, use protection – until he’s been tested.
“How demeaning and foolish would it be to put yourself in an unhealthy place?” Neuman asks. “If he did not have safe sex… he was making tremendous mistakes that could have killed you both.”
That just shows how lost he was and how much counseling is needed, he says. And if he refuses a test, then your answer to Question 1 is a big, fat “no.”
10. What are my rights if my husband is cheating?
- You have the right to be angry. You don’t have the right to turn that anger into a lifetime of bitterness.
- You have the right to divorce. You don’t have the right to move the kids without legal action.
- You have the right to demand counseling. You also have the right to leave if he refuses.
- You have the right to ask basic questions. You also have the right to ask detailed questions about sexual specifics, positions, sounds or techniques, but asking them may start a rabbit hole of obsession.
- You have the right to direct, honest answers, but be careful not to ask a question you don’t want to hear the answer to.
- You have the right to know that you were right about this all along, especially if he made you feel paranoid for being suspicious.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Hollywood icon Elizabeth Taylor dies at 79
Humanitarian work, storied personal life, marked Oscar winner's career
For the last 25 years of her life, Elizabeth Taylor, who died Wednesday at 79, was known mostly for her AIDS activism and her health battles. But from the 1950s through the early '80s, she defined Hollywood glamour and stardom, with a grand lifestyle that included two Oscars, eight marriages and endless magazine covers that were proof of the public's enduring fascination with her life.
Taylor died of congestive heart failure at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles.
Former child star had cemented her reputation as a good actress and stunningly gorgeous young woman by age 19. But a decade later, when both Eddie Fisher and Richard Burton left their wives for her, the violet-eyed actress went from being the world's most beautiful woman to the world's most wicked, at least to many.
That eventually gave way to her rep as the world's most courageous woman, as she battled a series of illnesses, became one of the first celebs to talk openly about her addictions and led the fight against AIDS.
In an industry dominated by male stars in the second half of the century, Taylor was an exception. Her salary for the 1963 film "Cleopatra" was unprecedented: $1 million. Her liaisons with leading men and her eight marriages sparked plenty of controversy but did not bring down the kind of career censure that other nonmonogamous women (notably Ingrid Bergman) suffered.
And she was the last of a breed, traveling with huge entourages, spending lavishly on diamonds and other luxuries and living a life of old-style Hollywood glamour even in the 1980s and '90s, when most celebs insisted in interviews that they led quiet, ordinary lives.
Perhaps because of her larger-than-life image, she remained a star long after her final leading role in films (1980's "The Mirror Crack'd"), and until the mid-1990s she still grabbed bigger headlines in newspapers and tabloids than more current actors and actresses.
Taylor had the potential to be a great actress but claimed she never had enough ambition. When she put her mind to it, she was flawless. She amassed five Oscar nominations -- not bad for someone without much ambition.
'Velvet' rider
Taylor was born Feb. 27, 1932, in London to American parents. She had her first ballet lesson at age 3, and when she was 7, her parents returned to the U.S. and settled in Los Angeles, where her father operated an art gallery at the Beverly Hills Hotel.
Her first film was "There's One Born Every Minute," released by Universal (where she was under contract) in 1942. After Louis B. Mayer signed her on at MGM, she appeared in "Lassie Come Home" in 1943 and the following year became a star at the age of 12 in "National Velvet."
Several young-lady roles followed in the late '40s, including "A Date With Judy," "Life With Father," "Julia Misbehaves" and 1949's "Little Women."
Taylor's first grown-up romantic leading role was opposite Robert Taylor in 1949's "Conspirator." But it was Vincente Minnelli's "Father of the Bride" (and its year-later sequel "Father's Little Dividend") that showed her promise as a leading lady.
Her marital relationships were more closely followed and speculated upon than her films. She met hotel heir Nicky Hilton in 1949, when she was 17, and married him in 1950 (when "Father of the Bride" was released); they divorced eight months later. That same year she received her high school diploma at Los Angeles' University High School.
Her performance in 1951's "A Place in the Sun" was the first to prove her mettle as an actress (her work was called "a minor miracle" by Variety), and her cooing come-on to Montgomery Clift, "Tell mama," is a great moment in film history.
For the next several years, she juggled career, marriage and motherhood: In 1952 she married the much older Michael Wilding and had two sons, Michael and Christopher.
During these years, MGM put her in bland comedies like "Love Is Better Than Ever," costume dramas such as "Ivanhoe" and 1954's sudsy "Rhapsody." She took over for an ailing Vivien Leigh in "Elephant Walk," but it didn't do much for her career, nor did "The Last Time I Saw Paris."
When Grace Kelly retired to princessdom, director George Stevens hired Taylor for 1956's "Giant," teaming her with Rock Hudson and James Dean. The following year, she received her first Oscar nomination, for "Raintree County," opposite close friend Clift, whose face was disfigured and repaired during production (after a drunken auto accident upon leaving Taylor's home).
Following her second divorce in 1956, she married bon vivant producer Michael Todd, by whom she had a third child, Liza.
Todd, who took home the best pic Oscar for 1956's "Around the World in 80 Days," died in a New Mexico plane crash in 1958. Taylor was grief-stricken as she played the lead in Tennessee Williams' "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." The film resulted in her second Oscar nom, but Taylor quickly outraged fans by pairing up with Eddie Fisher, then married to one of her best friends, Debbie Reynolds. They were married soon thereafter. She and Fisher adopted a German orphan (who later took on Burton's name to become Maria Burton).
In 1959, another Williams adaptation, "Suddenly Last Summer," brought her a third consecutive Oscar nomination.
She finally won on her fourth straight bid, for 1960's "BUtterfield 8," though many felt it was a sentimental win: Shortly after "Cleopatra" started lensing, she was hospitalized with pneumonia and received an emergency tracheotomy. "Hell, I even voted for her," snapped the spurned Reynolds.
After the ceremony, Taylor fainted in a backstage restroom.
Headlines with Burton
"Cleopatra" had brought her the then-unheard-of $1 million fee. The at-the-time most expensive movie ever made (more than $30 million) nearly sank 20th Century Fox; the studio had to sell off precious parcels of its backlot (which became Century City).
During the filming of "Cleopatra," she took up with co-star Burton, though both were married at the time. The Fisher-Reynolds-Taylor incident had provoked some public wrath, but not to the extent of this one; the Vatican went so far as to call Taylor's affair with Burton "erotic vagrancy." When the two finally married, their bouts with alcohol and extravagant lifestyle (they reportedly went through $30 million) were legendary.
Some observed at the time that Taylor made Burton a star and he made her an actress. That's an oversimplification, but certainly Taylor turned in one of her best performances in 1966's "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" opposite Burton. Taylor won her second Oscar for her work as a blowsy, vicious-but-tender drunk. (The character was supposedly 50, but the 34-year-old was aged for the role.)
The two also shone in Franco Zeffirelli's 1967 film "The Taming of the Shrew"; their 11 movies together also included "The V.I.P.s" and "The Sandpiper" (both gloriously campy pics that dealt with marital infidelity, trading on their real-life reputations), "Doctor Faustus," "The Comedians," "Boom," "Under Milkwood," "Hammersmith Is Out" and the 1973 telefilm "Divorce His, Divorce Hers."
They parodied themselves in a 1971 episode of the "The Lucy Show." They divorced, remarried, then divorced again. After their second divorce, the pair capitalized on their notoriety by touring in Noel Coward's "Private Lives," which also played on Broadway, to sold-out houses.
Away from Burton, Taylor had a few interesting roles. She starred opposite Marlon Brando (replacing Clift, who died shortly before principal photography) in 1967's "Reflections in a Golden Eye," a quirky John Huston adaptation of Carson McCullers' novel. She also did amusing and effective turns in 1970's "The Only Game in Town," with Warren Beatty; 1972's "X, Y and Zee" (or "Zee and Co.," as it was called overseas); and "Night Watch" the following year.
Washington wife
While she'd been among the top of box office stars since 1960, she dropped from the list after 1968, never to return again.
"The Driver's Seat" in 1974 and "The Blue Bird" in 1976 were barely released, a fate similar to that of 1977's "A Little Night Music," in which she sang "Send in the Clowns." In 1980's "The Mirror Crack'd," an adaptation of an Agatha Christie mystery, she played an actress; it was her last leading role on the bigscreen.
Taylor went to Washington, marrying Sen. John Warner (R-Va.) and for a time playing the dutiful D.C. wife. She publicly booed his positions on women and the draft; they divorced in 1982.
A year later she entered Betty Ford Center for prescription drug and alcohol dependency.
There were some TV films such as "Return Engagement," "Between Friends," "Malice in Wonderland," "Poker Alice," "There Must Be a Pony" and Williams adaptation "Sweet Bird of Youth" in 1989. She also appeared in the soaps "General Hospital" and "All My Children" and provided the voice of baby Maggie in an episode of animated series "The Simpsons."
In 1988, she returned to Betty Ford Center, where she met the non-pro, two decades younger Larry Fortensky. In 1990, she almost succumbed to pneumonia again, then married Fortensky in a $1.5 million ceremony on Michael Jackson's estate. Before separating from Fortensky in 1995, she twice had surgery for hip replacement.
In 1985, after the death of her friend Hudson, Taylor became a founding co-chairman for amfAR (the American Foundation for AIDS Research). Thereafter she crisscrossed the country and the world, calling attention to and raising funds for AIDS research and care, more so than any other celebrity. In 1993, she received the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts & Sciences' Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award.
In 1987, she launched Passion, her own perfume (through Chesebrough-Pond's), which was soon generating sales of $70 million a year. In 1989, a men's Passion was created, and in 1991 a second women's scent, White Diamonds, was also successful. A third perfume, Black Pearls, was introduced in 1995.
She received the AFI Lifetime Achievement Award in 1993. "You make me realize how much I miss acting, but my life is full and good," she said at the ceremony.
In 1994, she filed suit to stop production on an unauthorized TV biography but failed. The "and then I married" piece succeeded only in the ratings.
That same year, she did a humorous cameo as Wilma Flintstone's mother in "The Flintstones." (She had also made an appearance in the 1988 Zeffirelli film "Young Toscanini," which was never released in the U.S.) As if to say "let bygones be bygones," she co-starred with Reynolds, Joan Collins and Shirley MacLaine in the 2001 telepic "These Old Broads," co-written by Reynolds' daughter Carrie Fisher.
In May 2000, she went to a ceremony at Buckingham Palace making her a Dame of the British Empire. Taylor was chronically late, and London's Mail on Sunday reported, "One of her aides asked the palace courtiers how long the queen would wait if Liz were running late. They simply ignored the question and the silence was poignant."
Taylor showed up on time.
Survivors include four children, 10 grandchildren and four great-grandchildren.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Marital infidelity is the main source of domestic violence
Spousal unfaithfulness, marital adultery, infidelity are the motives of family misunderstanding, separation and divorce that poison the life of the couple. The roots of a spouse being adulterous have been studied since the beginning of civilization and up to now no exact or acceptable clarification has been found. One thing is for sure - don’t believe that the ‘affair’ was planned beforehand because of a bad marriage. These ‘affairs’ just happen. They frequently happen with someone very close: colleagues, neighbors or friends.
Either infidelity is accepted or it is divorce. Some say because of children there should not be separation, forgetting that children are quite capable of understanding and seeing the picture clearly. When one says one will no longer be unfaithful, there will always be doubts in the mind of the partner.
When the wrong is done, that is when infidelity is exposed, separation becomes inevitable. “The first thing we have to grapple with in a marital relationship is honesty.”
Infidelity has become so common that even cover stories of newspapers do not create a stir among the people or even among NGOs or the authorities. The mention of someone having a concubine is quite ordinary. No one seems to know that polygamy is illegal under our legislation and that for someone to have a concubine is condemnable by our courts of justice.
Either infidelity is accepted or it is divorce. Some say because of children there should not be separation, forgetting that children are quite capable of understanding and seeing the picture clearly. When one says one will no longer be unfaithful, there will always be doubts in the mind of the partner.
When the wrong is done, that is when infidelity is exposed, separation becomes inevitable. “The first thing we have to grapple with in a marital relationship is honesty.”
Infidelity has become so common that even cover stories of newspapers do not create a stir among the people or even among NGOs or the authorities. The mention of someone having a concubine is quite ordinary. No one seems to know that polygamy is illegal under our legislation and that for someone to have a concubine is condemnable by our courts of justice.
Friday, March 18, 2011
How to Prevent Cheating in Your Family?
Cheating seems like a distant possibility when it happens to other people. It becomes personal when it comes knocking on your family’s door. The power of preventing cheating from happening in your own family lies in you and your spouse. No one else can take the responsibility for you. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you can work on saving your marriage and family.
There is one particular way which is within your control to prevent infidelity from creeping into your marriage. This is to maintain one’s self for yourself and your spouse. By taking care of yourself, you will have protection against one of the most common reasons why spouses cheat. Finding a partner to be no longer attractive makes a person susceptible to the physical attributes of another. Maintaining your health and looks makes you confident and able to fight for your relationship when required.
Resorting to some form of emotional blackmail can be a dirty trick but a useful one just the same to remind the possible cheating spouse of the consequences of infidelity. Though not recommended to be used too frequently as to become very obvious, subtle reminders of the impending misery and hurt that will be experienced by the family hounded by infidelity may serve the purpose. Spouses on the verge of cheating can still be stopped once they realize that they are not wiling to put their family through such an ordeal. Showing continued trust might provide the necessary pressure to live up to expectations to act more responsibly.
Monday, I will publish a second part of the article.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Female Unfaithfulness - 2 Very Important Questions!
Female unfaithfulness has always upset and astonished men. That is why there are “belts of faithfulness”, abundance of guards in harems and murders of wily cheaters. Below are an important and astonishing questions and answers. Can you believe it?
Question: How often average women cheat on her husband if, according to statistic, 11% of their children (every ninth child) were born not of their lawful father?
Answer: Actually, not that often: approximately every married woman has an affair 4-6 times.
Question: Then how come there are so many children fathered by a lover?
Answer: Some time ago, it was believed that it was easier for a woman to get pregnant by her husband. Gynecologists still agree to treat infertility only if a woman has been having sex with one partner for more than two years. But the latest studies revealed the astonishing news: the chances to get pregnant by a casual partner are much higher, even if it was just a one-night stand.
Question: How often average women cheat on her husband if, according to statistic, 11% of their children (every ninth child) were born not of their lawful father?
Answer: Actually, not that often: approximately every married woman has an affair 4-6 times.
Question: Then how come there are so many children fathered by a lover?
Answer: Some time ago, it was believed that it was easier for a woman to get pregnant by her husband. Gynecologists still agree to treat infertility only if a woman has been having sex with one partner for more than two years. But the latest studies revealed the astonishing news: the chances to get pregnant by a casual partner are much higher, even if it was just a one-night stand.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
What Can Stop Your Spouse from Cheating?
Cheating can be caused by so many reasons that it would need a careful analysis of one’s particular situation to find the most suitable solution or preventive action. Men cheat because of lack of passion and support in a relationship, chronic cheating behavior which can be influenced by family or peers, anger with spouse, or even sex addiction. Women usually cheat because of lack of attention, intimacy and passion from their partners. They can also be attracted by wealth, physical looks and promise of excitement. A woman’s lack of self-esteem can also cause her to cheat.
Whatever the situation, cheating can still be prevented when spouses are willing enough to work at it instead of putting everything at the mercy of fate. Humans have never been known to be perfect and are susceptible to temptations even in the most ideal situations. Imagine the pressure therefore on those involved in unhappy marriages. Confronted with opportunities, men and women alike may not be strong enough to pass up a chance for infidelity.
Stopping a possible and actual cheating spouse can be done but only through the active participation of the other. There is no room for complete laxity in relationships just because people are married. Marriage has not stopped many people from violating vows and promises made. When thinking about preventing the occurrence of cheating, no one can escape possible culpability in contributing to the problem.
Problems in marriage that lead to infidelity are equally caused by what has been done and what has been failed to be done for the relationship. Sometimes, cheaters are not pushed to infidelity by a single reason but by a combination of reasons that have become unbearable. Most find their escape in cheating which is not exactly a solution to the problem, but an escape just the same for the cheater.
Spouses should constantly work on their relationship by providing support, attention, intimacy and excitement within. The surest way to stop cheating as brought upon by the lack of these marital components is to provide them so that partners will not look for them somewhere else. Once found in someone else’s arms, it might be very difficult to sever emotions and attachments formed. Showing appreciation for the other fulfills a continuing need of every person to feel needed and wanted in spite of personal limitations. This includes appreciation for physical looks, achievements however small and recognition of personal contributions to the family’s well-being.
Regardless of the realities of age, partners should strive to remain attractive to each other. Showing interest on the other’s activities and interests will ensure that a spouse will not be left out from the other’s personal world. A personal world without the presence of the spouse may be healthy in small dosages but is potentially disastrous when preferred more than usual. When a person stops sharing the most important moments of his/her life to the spouse, it is a possible prelude to a future where the spouse will no longer have a space.
Doubting spouses should take care not to drive away their partner with unfounded suspicions. These suspicions however should be addressed accordingly and not be allowed to fester unnecessarily. Couples should talk with each other if they are to stand any chance against the threats of infidelity.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Rich and Famous Cheaters in the World History
Royal Families.
People who have power as well as common people are subject to various life temptations and sometimes their sexual extravagances have such perverted forms that we will discuss them in detail.
Gaius Julius Caesar
Gaius Julius Caesar is one of the most prominent people in World History. He started his political career with a position of tribune and then was promoted to aedile and praetor. In 58-51 BC Caesar conquered Gaul and imposed the influence of Roman Empire there. Having eliminated Pompeii and his supporters, Caesar became the Ruler of Rome. Many patricians were not content with his political activities. As a result, one of his opponents organized a conspiracy where the great commander was killed. Caesar was also known as an author of “Notes on the Gallic War” and “Notes on the Civil Wars”.
According to the legend, a founder of Julius patrician race, which Caesar belonged to, was Jul, a son of Eneas and a grandson of Goddess Venera.
Gaius Julius Caesar was born in 100(or 102) BC. When the boy was 16, his father died. In a year Caesar married Korneliya, a daughter of Zinna, a friend and supporter of Marius. However, Caesar was not lucky because Sulla’s coming to power prevented him from taking high positions, but as we see from the history, that fact did not stop the ambitious politician.
Caesar refused to follow Sulla’s order and divorce his wife and that is why Sulla took away Korneliya’s inheritance and dowry, leaving Caesar without means of living. Sulla considered Caesar to be his serious competitor and he did his best in order to disarm him. Caesar had to leave Italy.
Many historians describe an interesting case which shows precisely the character of the future leader. When Caesar served in Roman Army, he was captured by pirates. They demanded a ransom of 20 talents for Caesar’s life. Caesar said laughingly that the price for his life was too low and promised to get them 50 talents. While Caesars’ friends were looking for money, he set his own rules on the ship. He would not let pirates make noise when he was asleep, he would participate in all their competitions. However, pirates did not like his literary works, which the future leader would read to them periodically. Then Caesar threatened to crucify them which evoked pirates’ Homeric laughter.
Meanwhile, Gentlemen of Fortune did not even realize who they were dealing with. Caesar always kept his promises.
People who have power as well as common people are subject to various life temptations and sometimes their sexual extravagances have such perverted forms that we will discuss them in detail.
Gaius Julius Caesar
Gaius Julius Caesar is one of the most prominent people in World History. He started his political career with a position of tribune and then was promoted to aedile and praetor. In 58-51 BC Caesar conquered Gaul and imposed the influence of Roman Empire there. Having eliminated Pompeii and his supporters, Caesar became the Ruler of Rome. Many patricians were not content with his political activities. As a result, one of his opponents organized a conspiracy where the great commander was killed. Caesar was also known as an author of “Notes on the Gallic War” and “Notes on the Civil Wars”.
According to the legend, a founder of Julius patrician race, which Caesar belonged to, was Jul, a son of Eneas and a grandson of Goddess Venera.
Gaius Julius Caesar was born in 100(or 102) BC. When the boy was 16, his father died. In a year Caesar married Korneliya, a daughter of Zinna, a friend and supporter of Marius. However, Caesar was not lucky because Sulla’s coming to power prevented him from taking high positions, but as we see from the history, that fact did not stop the ambitious politician.
Caesar refused to follow Sulla’s order and divorce his wife and that is why Sulla took away Korneliya’s inheritance and dowry, leaving Caesar without means of living. Sulla considered Caesar to be his serious competitor and he did his best in order to disarm him. Caesar had to leave Italy.
Many historians describe an interesting case which shows precisely the character of the future leader. When Caesar served in Roman Army, he was captured by pirates. They demanded a ransom of 20 talents for Caesar’s life. Caesar said laughingly that the price for his life was too low and promised to get them 50 talents. While Caesars’ friends were looking for money, he set his own rules on the ship. He would not let pirates make noise when he was asleep, he would participate in all their competitions. However, pirates did not like his literary works, which the future leader would read to them periodically. Then Caesar threatened to crucify them which evoked pirates’ Homeric laughter.
Meanwhile, Gentlemen of Fortune did not even realize who they were dealing with. Caesar always kept his promises.
More you can read at: www.CheckMateTest.com
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Just about products from the Check Mate Test LLC catalog.
CheckMate Infidelity Test Kit is the latest addition to the list of home test kits that can be used by untrained consumers. It is a quick and easy multiple use kit that performs from 5 to 10 tests. Designed to work on any type or color of material without risk of damage or stain, every test conducted remains confidential especially from the person being tested. Results can be obtained within 5 minutes or less. It is also guaranteed to be 100% effective. Each kit comes with a free second test kit.
This laboratory proven semen detection kit has been in the market for over ten (10) years. It holds a US patent and provides a 100% Money Back Guarantee to its buyers. The CheckMate product is regularly featured in spy and security trade shows. The CheckMate Ultra Violet Stain Locator Black Light provides 4 watts of illumination to help isolate suspected stains on large areas such as beddings. Since the CheckMate Test Kit only works on identified stains, this black light can reveal evidence not readily visible to the naked eye. However, its use is not required for stains that can readily be seen and tested through the CheckMate kit.
The complete instruction sheet for using the kit is contained in every package. Essentially, CheckMate can detect traces of semen in the underwear, clothing, bedding and other fabric materials. Scientifically formulated to work on a specific enzyme that is found at very high levels in a man’s semen, CheckMate can be used to test a suspect article as long as it has not been washed and kept at room temperature for up to two years or longer. Even the smallest traces of semen can be tested if present and can be confirmed once the color purple appears on the testing paper.
CheckMate has been used by thousands of customers all over the world. It can be used with great ease and confidence in the comfort of one’s home with the usual common sense. Doubting men should not be doing any testing on their partners unless they abstain from having sexual contact at least seven (7) days prior to testing so as to avoid testing themselves. The use of a condom may prevent the presence of semen in underwear thus the tester can be more creative in testing by conducting tests on other personal things such as clothes worn, beddings, panty liners or even car seats.
CheckMate works both ways. It can provide the closure for people who have long endured their partner’s illicit affairs while it can also provide the much needed assurance of fidelity for doubting partners. The answer can either embolden people to take action or quiet hearts and minds racked with unnecessary suspicions.
People who have used CheckMate not only rave about the product but the customer service provided by its company as well. Customers need to be assured that the people behind a product know exactly what they are offering. It’s comparatively inexpensive cost, privacy in purchasing and immediacy in result, all work to make CheckMate the most popular Infidelity Test Kit in the market. To ensure product integrity and maintain a longer shelf-live, all items are shrink-wrapped and safety sealed.
Regular vaginal excretions will not interfere with the test since CheckMate can differentiate whether stains found in underwear are mixed with semen or not. Men might be busting their brains out for nothing when they mistake female white stains for semen stains. This is especially applicable to men who are in difficult and rocky relationships who don’t need the aggravation of suspected infidelity to further complicate matters. In fact, totally eliminating the third party angle may provide more reasons to make the relationships work.
CheckMate is 100% accurate when used according to instructions. Having an advertised shelf life of one year, CheckMate kits over two years old have been successfully used for testing when kept under the proper condition. The CheckMate kit however is not designed to prove the ownership of the semen which can only be done through DNA testing.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
3 Things to Avoid Doing When Husband Trying to Catch a Cheating Spouse
You think your spouse might be having an affair, but you're unsure. You think you know the signs that your spouse is cheating, so you want to accuse them. Well, what I'm going to share with you are the three things you must avoid trying to do when attempting to catch a cheating spouse.
That way, you won't ruin your chances of really find out if your spouse is really having an affair.
The three things to avoid doing when trying to catch a cheating spouse are:
You will make yourself look insecure. And your spouse will let you know it. Also, your spouse will know that you're trying to accuse them of cheating. This will cause them to be really careful when they're having an affair, which will make it difficult for you to catch them.
These are the three things you must avoid doing when trying to catch a cheating spouse. If you think your spouse is having an affair, you need to do something about it now. You need to find concrete evidence before confronting your spouse.
That way, you won't ruin your chances of really find out if your spouse is really having an affair.
The three things to avoid doing when trying to catch a cheating spouse are:
- Don't accuse your spouse of cheating. If you are trying to catch your spouse having an affair, accusing them will only make things worse. Also, your spouse will know that you are on to what is they're doing. So, make sure you don't accuse your spouse without having concrete proof.
- Another thing to avoid doing when trying to catch a cheating spouse is to not try to get them back by cheating. You may think you know that your spouse is having an affair. You could be wrong. So, by trying to get them back by cheating, you will be the one who is wrong. Make sure you get concrete proof. That's the best way to do it.
- The third thing to avoid doing when trying to catch a cheating spouse is to not become insecure. Don't start questioning everything your spouse is doing. Whenever your spouse leaves to go hangout with their friends, don't start asking your spouse a bunch of questions.
You will make yourself look insecure. And your spouse will let you know it. Also, your spouse will know that you're trying to accuse them of cheating. This will cause them to be really careful when they're having an affair, which will make it difficult for you to catch them.
These are the three things you must avoid doing when trying to catch a cheating spouse. If you think your spouse is having an affair, you need to do something about it now. You need to find concrete evidence before confronting your spouse.
What Can Stop Your Spouse from Cheating?
Cheating can be caused by so many reasons that it would need a careful analysis of one’s particular situation to find the most suitable solution or preventive action. Men cheat because of lack of passion and support in a relationship, chronic cheating behavior which can be influenced by family or peers, anger with spouse, or even sex addiction. Women usually cheat because of lack of attention, intimacy and passion from their partners. They can also be attracted by wealth, physical looks and promise of excitement. A woman’s lack of self-esteem can also cause her to cheat.
Whatever the situation, cheating can still be prevented when spouses are willing enough to work at it instead of putting everything at the mercy of fate. Humans have never been known to be perfect and are susceptible to temptations even in the most ideal situations. Imagine the pressure therefore on those involved in unhappy marriages. Confronted with opportunities, men and women alike may not be strong enough to pass up a chance for infidelity.
Stopping a possible and actual cheating spouse can be done but only through the active participation of the other. There is no room for complete laxity in relationships just because people are married. Marriage has not stopped many people from violating vows and promises made. When thinking about preventing the occurrence of cheating, no one can escape possible culpability in contributing to the problem.
Problems in marriage that lead to infidelity are equally caused by what has been done and what has been failed to be done for the relationship. Sometimes, cheaters are not pushed to infidelity by a single reason but by a combination of reasons that have become unbearable. Most find their escape in cheating which is not exactly a solution to the problem, but an escape just the same for the cheater.
Spouses should constantly work on their relationship by providing support, attention, intimacy and excitement within. The surest way to stop cheating as brought upon by the lack of these marital components is to provide them so that partners will not look for them somewhere else. Once found in someone else’s arms, it might be very difficult to sever emotions and attachments formed. Showing appreciation for the other fulfills a continuing need of every person to feel needed and wanted in spite of personal limitations. This includes appreciation for physical looks, achievements however small and recognition of personal contributions to the family’s well-being.
Regardless of the realities of age, partners should strive to remain attractive to each other. Showing interest on the other’s activities and interests will ensure that a spouse will not be left out from the other’s personal world. A personal world without the presence of the spouse may be healthy in small dosages but is potentially disastrous when preferred more than usual. When a person stops sharing the most important moments of his/her life to the spouse, it is a possible prelude to a future where the spouse will no longer have a space.
Doubting spouses should take care not to drive away their partner with unfounded suspicions. These suspicions however should be addressed accordingly and not be allowed to fester unnecessarily. Couples should talk with each other if they are to stand any chance against the threats of infidelity.
The New Company Behind CheckMate
One company can now finally claim that it can offer the complete range of home-testing kits including pregnancy tests, ovulation tests, drug and alcohol tests, glucose tests and now the controversial semen detection test. Medimpex is a long-time manufacturer and distributor of various rapid testing kits as well as other diagnostic devices. These tests and devices are within reach of ordinary consumers in terms of cost and availability. With detailed information provided for each product, answers are literally placed at the hands of those who require it.
Tapping CheckMate Test LLC to take charge of ensuring the continued success of CheckMate as an acknowledged leader in the semen detection industry, Medimpex once again takes one step forward in its commitment to provide reliable and accessible testing kits to the market. The company’s client reach extends to North and South America, Europe, Asia and Australia
A home test is defined as a diagnostic evaluation, intended to be self-administered with the use of a simple kit or over-the-counter tests readily available in pharmacies and other selling outlets. Several semen detection products are currently available in the market but generally fall under three main categories: tests to detect prostrate specific antigen, the detection of acid phosphate which is an enzyme primarily found in semen, and microscopic tests for the presence of semen.
CheckMate makes use of the Acid Phosphate Test wherein the presence of semen is determined by the presence of an enzyme found in very high levels only in a man’s prostrate. The validity of its results lies on the fact that no semen or traces of it could find its way to the personal garments of a person such as underwear without the occurrence of any sexual activity. With a confirmed sexual activity outside the relationship, cheating spouses can finally be nailed down with real proof.
History would tell us that the idea of detecting semen in relation to infidelity is something that has been lurking in the minds of people since the 1800s. However, it is only now that people are given the advantage of having easy-to-use semen detection tests conducted in the privacy of one’s home. No one needs to know of the intention to do the testing so the guilty parties are not forewarned while the innocent ones are absolved of baseless suspicions without being knowingly subjected to testing.
Most cheating spouses will not be caught dead with their lies so it is quite critical to be able to counter lies with solid evidence. Most cheaters need to be caught first before confessing. The most hardened cheaters even have the gall to continuously deny even if caught red-handed. Imagine confronting people like these with no evidence. The most probable results would only be more confusion because of a cheating spouse’s opportunity to propagate more lies. The cheating evidence is especially important when divorce is being considered.
A cheater lives a life of deception while the one being cheated on lives a life of misery and suspicions. Every act becomes a motive and every word becomes a question in a relationship where trust has flown out of the window. Cheaters can even turn the issue around by managing to skillfully pass on the blame to his/her unsuspecting spouse while enjoying his /her advantageous position.
For most people who have been involved in long term relationships, gut feel is something that cannot be denied. This is when a partner knows something is going on without actually having any solid evidence to support such unspoken knowledge. Even experts agree that gut instinct is one of the most, if not the most powerful indicator of infidelity. Changes may be subtle and signs not so obvious but will soon be, as an illicit relationship progresses.
It is a fact that as a relationship develops into something deeper; partners tend to become more demanding of the attention and time of the other, sometimes actually thinking that they have the right to such demands. This is the time where slip-ups appear as unfaithful partners get caught up in their own lies. The natural tendency of people is to trust their respective partners but if a doubt never seems to go away due to seen or unseen reasons, maybe it is time to investigate further.
Doubting spouses should learn to maximize their observation skills if they are to catch their cheating partners. Although the issue of infidelity certainly creates chaos in the minds and emotions of those concerned, it is important to remain calm and composed to be able to gather evidence effectively. When the initial shock subsides, people in the receiving end of infidelity should come to terms with the reality of the possibility and do something about it by investigating.
As friends and work are the most common alibi used by cheaters, the spouse doing the investigating should try to extract information from these friends without them noticing. It is a way of counterchecking reasons given for a spouse’s late night out, overtime work or extended business trips. Mutual friends are typically not very happy about the unfaithfulness of one to his/her partner especially since both are considered friends. Some may choose to give subtle hints so as not to be directly involved in the expected confrontation between the troubled spouses.
Relationships outside marriage may develop because of attachments formed in the work area or in other places where constant association with a particular person takes place. Existing problems in the marriage can contribute a lot to losing control because of the simultaneous intense emotions going through a person related to disillusionment in an existing relationship and a strong sexual desire for another. Most of the time, problems can make a person vulnerable to temptations which may ordinarily be overpowered during more stable times. It should be noted that problems in marriage is not only about constant fights and scandalous scenes. Some problems are characterized by a quiet feeling of unhappiness or even boredom.
The signs of cheating are always clearer looking back and never is while it is staring someone to his/her face. Because of the expected trust that should come with a serious relationship, signs of cheating are rationalized and shrugged off. Discovering the truth is something not everyone is ready for especially if the truth is about the unfaithfulness of a partner. Many call it the denial stage where one protects blissful ambiance so as not to create a problem in the relationship, not realizing that such denial only serves to cover an already existing problem. These people live in a dreamland where they hope that the problem will sort out itself and everything will be back to normal. Unfortunately, this almost always do not happen since partners need to be proactive in their relationship and participate in its well-being. This participation would include ensuring the faithfulness in the commitment and trying to work it out if infidelity has indeed been committed by one.
When infidelity has been confirmed, spouses have to make a decision individually if they would want to continue their marriage or go separate ways. However, the work that comes after, either for rebuilding or separation needs their joint efforts. Rebuilding a marriage after infidelity would require the commitment of both partners. It would basically ask the guilty partner to cease from any further acts of infidelity while the offended partner needs to accept and understand the betrayal and bury the hatchet. The failure of both to abide by these basic requirements can only lead to a cycle of blame, criticism and further lies. Separation on the other hand, would require each of the partners to completely let go of the other to live a life of his/her own.
There is life after a failed relationship. Knowing what is happening behind one’s back provides the power to choose to live a lie or live a new life based on truth. Products offered to catch cheating spouses are enjoying brisk business because people would want to have that power of possessing the truth. No one should be helpless in this kind of situation. Instant answers to questions of infidelity can be answered and the CheckMate product provides that commitment to its customers.
For complete information, visit www.CheckMateTest.com or direct inquiries to CheckMate Test LLC at info@checkmatetest.com
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)